15 Mar Assertiveness and self-confidence
Assertiveness and self-confidence
I would like to show you how to build and boost as well as, develop you, to become a more successful person.
Trying to build self-confidence, self-esteem and assertiveness is not as difficult as you may think. Normal people do not generally want to try to transform themselves into being a more assertive and more dominant person. When I have talked to clients about them wanting to become more assertive, what they usually mean is:
- How can I resist the pressures and the dominance of other people?
- How do I stand up to the bullies I meet every day at work and outside work?
- How will I be able to exert more control in situations that are especially important to me?
I have found that assertiveness or dominance for the sake of being dominant is not generally a natural behaviour in most people. People are not naturally assertive; they tend to be passive by nature, whereas highly dominant people tend to be driven by their personality and often some insecurity, it is not something people are trained to be.
Anyone who is seeking to become more assertive will find it helpful to try to understand the typical personalities and motivations that excessively dominant people have, some are the cause and worry to the non-assertive person. Whether they are running their own business or leading a team in the office or o the factory floor, the best leaders require a strong set of leadership qualities and skills which help them to interact with their employees, team members as well as clients.
Behavioural theorists suggest that leadership skills are not ingrained so, therefore, can be taught, people can gain those qualities through teaching and learning them over time. The most important qualities of good leadership include integrity, accountability, empathy, understanding, humility, resilience, vision, influencing and positivity. Management is all about being able to persuade people to do things that they do not want to do, while leadership is totally about inspiring people to do things that they never thought they could do.
I feel it would be helpful at this point to explain the difference between good leadership and dominant leadership:
- Good leadership is very inclusive, is very developmental and a force that is what, is right and correct; good leadership does not dominate non-assertive people, it includes them, engages with them and involves them in solid management decision making.
- Dominance as a management style is unbelievably bad and should never be allowed under any circumstances, it is usually based on short-term rewards and results; mainly for the benefit of the dominant leader, failing to take into account completely any member of the team and generally riding rough-shod over their ideas, abilities and completely forgetting the hidden potential they have around them.
What makes a good leader great?
Great leaders find a balance between business foresight, performance, and character, they have the vision, courage, integrity, humility and focus along with the ability to strategically plan and to involve, work and cooperate in and amongst their team.
To me, vision is being able to explore the future and be able to articulate that vision with passion and then be able to drive it relentlessly to completion. Great leaders have visions, they are able to see into the future, they possess a clear vision knowing where they are going and what they are trying to accomplish and are excellent at strategic planning. This quality separates them from managers. While a manager gets the job done, a great leader is good at tapping into the emotions of their team and employees.
One of the things I love doing is helping people who are in the position of just getting by or bumbling along with their life. A lot of people are overly concerned that if they ask for help; people may think they are weak, which is of course not true. There is a big difference in seeking help now and for them to get what they need. What do I mean by that? We all have a small spark inside us and want to succeed.
I try to give people opportunities and show them how to turn the spark inside them into a raging inferno! When you have that fire in your belly it gives you the determination and ability to make those great decisions and follow those decisions through to a conclusion. You must understand that by turning that spark of desire into a blazing inferno, will certainly help to make you a successful person.
In the world at the moment and the way it is, mainly because of the global “Pandemic” we’re all in trying to meet like-minded people who have turned that spark into a raging inferno, and it has been very difficult to expand our circle of contacts. So, Zoom networking has been an answer, giving you the ability to meet a great deal more people online. You are now in the position of meeting and emulating those people around them, following them and copying what they have done to become successful. I have certainly met and expanded the work I love doing and have met some fantastic people over the Zoom meetings. I run and those others which I participate in.