I have found that being “Assertive or Dominant” for the sake of being that way, is not generally a natural behaviour in most people. People are not naturally assertive; they tend to be passive by nature, whereas highly dominant people tend to be driven by their personality and very often because of their insecurity, it is certainly not something you’re trained to do. Assertiveness helps us to feel good about ourselves which leads onto the development of mutual respect with others around us and increase our self-esteem which helps us to achieve our desires, dreams, and goals. Assertiveness enables us to make decisions, free choices and enables us to express ourselves more on a wide range of feelings and thoughts.
Over the years, I have found that most excessively dominant people I have met, both in business and my private life have usually been bullies and those same people deep-down have been insecure people. The fact is insecure people very often do not allow others to take total responsibility. This behaviour is usually conditioned from childhood for one reason or another.
Have you noticed that bullies generally always have their own way? The reason generally is because they are rewarded, therefore unfortunately the cycle goes around and so it persists. Dominant bullying people, generally from an early age, become positively conditioned to a bullying behaviour pattern because they have found it works and unfortunately do not know any better;“they have not been taught differently”.
When people talk about wanting to be more assertive, more in control; what they mean is; they would like to be more able to resist the pressure and dominance of some people around them. Importantly, the non-assertive person should understand that a true starting point for them is when they realise it is a sign of strength, not one of weakness. Very often this is appropriate behaviour for most situations; please do not be fooled into thinking that you always must be more assertive.
With hope of a new sunshine, begin your Monday with great zeal and share the same with your nearest and dearest. Let them as well remember how cheerful and enthusiastic Mondays can be, and if taken in the right way, can result in great success.
Stay a “Winner” for the rest of 2020! My e-book: – “Success the Choice is Yours”, gives many examples.
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