Wednesday 17th May 2017
I’ve found that assertiveness or dominance for the sake of being dominant is not generally natural behaviour in most people. People aren’t naturally assertive; they tend to be passive by nature, whereas highly dominant people tend to be driven by their personality and often because of their insecurity, it’s certainly not something you’re trained to do. Assertiveness, helps us to feel good about ourselves which leads onto to the development of mutual respect with others around you and increasing your self-esteem which helps you to achieve your desires, dreams and goals. Assertiveness, enables you to make decisions, free choices and enables you to express yourself more on a wide range of feelings and thoughts.
Over the years, I’ve found that most excessively dominant people I’ve met, both in business and my private life have usually been bullies and those same people deep-down have been insecure people. The fact is insecure people very often, don’t allow others to take total responsibility. This behaviour is usually conditioned from childhood for one reason or another.
Have you noticed that bullies generally always have their own way? The reason generally is because they rewarded, therefore, unfortunately the cycle goes around and so it persists. Dominant bullying people, generally from an early age become positively conditioned to a bullying behaviour pattern because they have found it works and unfortunately don’t know any better; “they have not been taught differently”.
When people talk about wanting to be more assertive, more in control; what they mean is; I’d like to be abler to resist the pressure and dominance of people. Importantly, the non-assertive person should understand that a true starting point to non-assertive behaviour is a sign of strength, not one of weakness and very often appropriate behaviour for most situations; please don’t be fooled into thinking that you always must be more assertive.